Conversations About Foster Care
I have had a couple of interesting conversations over the past couple of weeks. The first was with the Child Protective Services case worker at my local DSS. I called to inquire about their need for foster homes as I am still debating on whether to take younger children or teenagers. She told me that if I was interested I should send her a flyer. Yup, a flyer!
The person who handled foster homes left DSS recently and the CPC worker was covering her position as well. She said to include information about me and what type of children I was willing to take. I asked her about an application and she told me that there wasn’t one but that I would have to have a background investigation. I am still scratching my head about this as I really thought that you had to go through an approval process similar to what the agency did with a homestudy.
I sent her an email with my information as well as the ages of children I was willing to foster. She called the next day with a few questions and that was that. I still believe that there is an approval process that foster homes have to go through. I guess I can either wait and see what happens or pursue it further with another locality.
My second conversation was with a friend of a friend who adopted through foster care. She did in fact go through an application and approval process but they were looking to adopt and I know that is a little more involved. She has two adopted children after raising 7 bio children.
It was interesting to hear about her second adopted daughter. She came to them when she was 4. You would think that would be young enough not to have any deep rooted emotional problems but R said that she really struggled with a few. R is a very active talker, her hands move the entire time and the child would flinch like she was going to be hit for the longest time. And at 4 years old, she wasn’t potty trained.
That by itself took some time to get through. It is harder to potty train an older child. They already have built habits and if you add the developmental delays to it, well, let’s just say it’s hard. R says that she still has problems with bedwetting and if the child gets upset she regresses.
R suggested that I call the DSS in her county which is also the county where I work. The foster care worker there is supposed to be very knowledgeable. I have it on my list of things to do in the coming weeks. I have to say that it is really nice to talk with someone who has been through it all.
Only 3 more classes until I have completed training. We should finish up on the 14th except for the Crisis Intervention training which keeps getting put off. I still have to schedule my physical and tb test. That is on my list for the next week as well. Next week is looking like a full week!
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I decided about a month ago that I wanted to do foster care again. I miss having children in my life. Two of my four children are married with children of their own, my youngest daughter graduates from high school this year and my youngest son decided to stay with his father rather than changing high schools when I moved last year.
This is something that I have been mulling over for awhile. When I did foster care 5 years ago, my youngest children were preteens and their experience with having a foster brother was not good. I had gotten a promotion which required longer hours and as I am a single mother, I made the decision not to take another foster child when my foster son was put back in residential care.
When I saw an ad in the paper for therapeutic foster care, I decided to look into it again. I live in a very rural area and the closest private agency is 2 hours away. I have been driving in to Pride training every week and sometimes twice a week.
The training has been excellent. The trainer spends much time discussing issues and going over scenarios. It has made me realize how inadequate my training was previously. I remember watching a couple of videos at home and doing a couple of hours of classroom training with one other family.
I realize that had I gone through this training then, I would have had a much better understanding of what my foster son was going through. I don’t know that it would have changed the outcome but at the very least I would have been more prepared to deal with his issues.
Over the next few weeks, I am going to have to decide whether I am going to do therapeutic foster care through the agency or whether I am going to work with my local DSS doing traditional foster care. My concerns are with the agency being 2 hours away which does not lend itself to being easily able to support any issues that might arise.
If I work with DSS, I will be working with younger children whose goal will usually be reunification with their families. The agency does some of this but it will usually be working with older children and teens who do not have that option. I have been considering the options over the last two weeks.
I contacted the local DSS and I have had several long discussions with the intake officer there. She is filling in for their foster care coordinator and we have developed a pretty good working relationship. They desperately need local foster families so that the children don’t have to go to residential care right away. The local kids are being moved all over the place which makes visitation with their families difficult at best.
I started this site to examine some of the issues involved with foster care from a personal level as well as to help other parents who might be considering it. I hope that I can provide some insight from a personal level as I work through my own decisions, questions and doubts now and the experience of actually being a foster parent.
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