Does PRIDE Training Really Prepare You?
Obviously my initial 4 or 5 hours of training did not prepare me for dealing with a preteen boy with multiple physical and emotional issues. The training I am going through now is much more in depth and has addressed some of the needs of a child who has attachment issues but I still wonder if it goes far enough.
I’m not going to sugar coat the doubts that I have. I believe that if you don’t question yourself then you really won’t be prepared for the issues you may encounter in caring for these children who have been through so much. I listen to the people in my class and I see myself 5 years ago. Wonderful caring people who want to make a difference in a child’s life but who really aren’t understanding the challenges in raising a special needs child.
Statements such as… “No kid is going to get up in my face. They will go right back the first time.” or “Oh no, no, I’m not going to have a child lying to me. There is just no reason to lie.” Or, “I’ll just play video games with them. It worked with my own kids.”
These are not bad people, they are wonderful, caring people who just don’t ‘get it’ yet. I know the instructor is trying to prepare them slowly. We went over discipline last night and the instructor was pretty honest about the level of anger that some of the kids experience and why they go through it. It’s the first time that he has actually gone much into behavior issues.
And of course, I am judging by my own experience with J but I have to remember that all children are different. They may not all react with so much anger, defiance and indifference. Maybe I am being negative but then I would rather be prepared this time. If I had known how to respond earlier then the outcome might have been different. So I make a pain of myself in class. I question everything until I am sure that I understand it.
Things I would like to see included in PRIDE training:
- Current Experienced Foster Parents - Their input could make the training so ‘real’ and could bring in some perspective of therapeutic foster care.
- Teen Issues– the teenage years are challenging for any child and it seems that most of training is focused on younger children. What specific issues might a foster child have during this age? How to deal with peer issues, etc.
- Special Needs — They tell us that we will be fostering special needs children but they never really go into what those might be. An introduction to some of them would be helpful.
Was there anything that you wish had been covered in training?
Filed under Training | Comments (2)My Foster Care Story Begins
I decided about a month ago that I wanted to do foster care again. I miss having children in my life. Two of my four children are married with children of their own, my youngest daughter graduates from high school this year and my youngest son decided to stay with his father rather than changing high schools when I moved last year.
This is something that I have been mulling over for awhile. When I did foster care 5 years ago, my youngest children were preteens and their experience with having a foster brother was not good. I had gotten a promotion which required longer hours and as I am a single mother, I made the decision not to take another foster child when my foster son was put back in residential care.
When I saw an ad in the paper for therapeutic foster care, I decided to look into it again. I live in a very rural area and the closest private agency is 2 hours away. I have been driving in to Pride training every week and sometimes twice a week.
The training has been excellent. The trainer spends much time discussing issues and going over scenarios. It has made me realize how inadequate my training was previously. I remember watching a couple of videos at home and doing a couple of hours of classroom training with one other family.
I realize that had I gone through this training then, I would have had a much better understanding of what my foster son was going through. I don’t know that it would have changed the outcome but at the very least I would have been more prepared to deal with his issues.
Over the next few weeks, I am going to have to decide whether I am going to do therapeutic foster care through the agency or whether I am going to work with my local DSS doing traditional foster care. My concerns are with the agency being 2 hours away which does not lend itself to being easily able to support any issues that might arise.
If I work with DSS, I will be working with younger children whose goal will usually be reunification with their families. The agency does some of this but it will usually be working with older children and teens who do not have that option. I have been considering the options over the last two weeks.
I contacted the local DSS and I have had several long discussions with the intake officer there. She is filling in for their foster care coordinator and we have developed a pretty good working relationship. They desperately need local foster families so that the children don’t have to go to residential care right away. The local kids are being moved all over the place which makes visitation with their families difficult at best.
I started this site to examine some of the issues involved with foster care from a personal level as well as to help other parents who might be considering it. I hope that I can provide some insight from a personal level as I work through my own decisions, questions and doubts now and the experience of actually being a foster parent.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)My Chosen Children
After having raised my four biological children to adulthood or near adulthood, I have decided to open both my home and my heart to foster children. The name of this site is My Chosen Children to honor them. I did not have much choice in my bio children but we do get to choose our foster children.
Although I have done therapeutic foster care in the past, I am currently retaking the PRIDE training. It is so much more meaningful after having experienced being a foster parent in the past. It is training that I wish all parents went through before having children, perhaps there would be less foster children in the world. My articles are not meant in any way to replace training but rather to enhance it.
Foster care is one of the most challenging and most rewarding life choices that you can make. The children are in foster care through no fault of their own and need loving adults to make a positive impact on their lives.
If you have considered foster care in the past, I encourage you to explore it further. If you do not feel like you are in a position to do so now, there are so many ways that you can help the children without committing to be a foster parent.
Filed under General | Comment (0)